The Moment I Stopped Waiting and Started Creating
Jan 16, 2026There was a time in my life when I thought I had to wait.
Wait until the kids were older.
Wait until things felt easier.
Wait until I had more energy, more clarity… more permission.
On the outside, everything looked fine, maybe even great.
Inside, I felt myself playing small.
Not because I didn’t love my life.
I did!
Being a mom is the greatest role of my life. Full stop.
And I believe that deeply.
But I also knew quietly that I had gifts to share beyond the walls of my home.
I wasn’t unhappy.
I love homeschooling my kids. It's incredibly rewarding.
I loved working with my private lesson students.
I never take lightly that parents trust me not just to teach dance steps, but to mentor their children. With me, it’s always been about something deeper than dance.
I was living a dream, honestly.
I was present.
I was intentional.
I was choosing my family first—on purpose.
I even turned down teaching in other people’s studios because I had clear boundaries:
I would be the mom who did the drop-offs and pick-ups.
The mom who was there for the car rides.
Those rides mattered to me.
Some of my most meaningful conversations with my own mom happened in the car—between school and dance, between life and becoming. I wanted that same connection with my kids.
And yet… in that season of intentionally saying no, I forgot to notice something else unfolding.
I craved creating.
Entrepreneurship.
Growth.
Challenge.
Building something from the ground up.
Becoming better at new skills.
Feeling that deep sense of accomplishment that comes from stretching yourself.
I tried to replicate that by helping my kids build little businesses.
We did an Usborne book business together. When my son told me he was done, because he had reached his goal, I felt two things at once.
The part of me that believes “we don’t quit” wanted to push him.
But the wiser part knew: he had achieved what he set out to do. Let him have that win.
We moved on to helping my daughter create her bow business. Watching her create and light up still makes me smile.
Those memories are priceless.
I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
And yet… it still didn’t scratch my itch.
I was happy but I wasn’t fully alive.
Telling my kids to dream big and live boldly felt a little hollow when I wasn’t doing the same for myself.
What I didn’t realize back then was this:
I wasn’t lacking motivation.
I wasn’t lacking ideas (I still have so many).
I was living on pause.
I had fully bought into the story that building something of my own required being all-in in a way that would cost me presence while they were little.
Before kids, when I owned my brick-and-mortar studio, I was all-in.
I ate, slept, and breathed it.
I loved it, but that season wouldn’t have allowed the homeschooling, adventure, and connection I valued as a mom.
So I told myself it had to be one or the other.
And no one tells you how easy it is to quietly build a life where you’re functioning but not creating. Not living fully alive and aligned.
I remember a very specific moment standing in my kitchen late at night, the house finally quiet, realizing that my dreams were still there… just dormant.
It took a loss to wake me up.
We experienced a miscarriage after 14 weeks of carrying, after pushing through exhaustion, after dreaming ahead. Losing that pregnancy on Valentine’s Day shook me.
I was angry.
I was searching for meaning.
I was wide awake.
That was my wake-up call.
Not because everything changed overnight.
But because I decided something had to.
Not when I worked harder.
Not when I got more disciplined.
But when I stopped waiting for permission or the perfect plan and chose to become the creator of my life again.
That’s why Decide is the first step in my D.A.N.C.E. framework.
A decision isn’t a thought.
It’s not a hope.
It’s not “I’ll try again on Monday.”
A decision is an identity shift.
Being a stay-at-home mom was part of my dream.
So was being a dance teacher.
So was being a coach.
So was impacting lives with my passions.
When I stopped asking,
“Why is this so hard for me?”
and started asking,
“Who do I need to be in this moment?”
Everything changed.
Those days after my miscarriage, I didn’t feel motivated.
I didn’t feel strong.
I didn’t feel inspired.
But I felt awake.
And this is what no one talks about:
You don’t create a different life when you feel ready.
You create it when you decide to stop living on autopilot and old stories.
From there came aligned action.
Not massive. Not perfect.
Just honest.
Next came noticing—
my energy, my patterns, the moments I checked out instead of checking in.
Followed by creating—
not forcing, not chasing, but building in alignment with who I was becoming.
And last came energy—
real energy. The kind that comes from integrity with yourself.
That’s what Come Alive is rooted in.
Not dance.
Not workouts.
Not hype.
But the personal identity work of remembering that you are not here to survive your days.
You are here to create your life.
Come Alive exists for the woman who knows she’s capable of more…
but feels stuck repeating the same cycles.
For the one who keeps waiting to feel motivated.
For the one who senses it’s time even if she can’t fully explain why.
This isn’t about fixing yourself.
It’s about choosing yourself.
And sometimes the most powerful decision isn’t loud or dramatic.
Sometimes it happens quietly…
late at night…
when you finally admit to yourself:
“I don’t want another year to pass like this.”
If this resonates, it’s not random.
It’s recognition.
And if you’re ready to step back into the role of creator—
I’d love to guide you inside Come Alive.
If this resonated, Come Alive is the space where we practice this work together: www.tapfitfam.com/comealive2026.
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